First of all, macho chefs do not mess around when
it comes to the tools they use. In their kitchens, you
will not find paisley oven mitts or color coordinated
cookware. These guys approach their tasks with
the same pragmatism as the cooks from the Old
West cattle drives. These are the guys who would
ride the gravy train ahead of the other cowboys,
breaking trail, establishing markers, and guiding his
cohorts to the next watering hole.
In their kitchens, the macho chef scorns
multicolored oven mitts, with their printed
strawberries, quaint cross-stitched country scenes,
and sensitive requests to “Kiss the Cook” printed in
a pink cursive font.
it comes to the tools they use. In their kitchens, you
will not find paisley oven mitts or color coordinated
cookware. These guys approach their tasks with
the same pragmatism as the cooks from the Old
West cattle drives. These are the guys who would
ride the gravy train ahead of the other cowboys,
breaking trail, establishing markers, and guiding his
cohorts to the next watering hole.
In their kitchens, the macho chef scorns
multicolored oven mitts, with their printed
strawberries, quaint cross-stitched country scenes,
and sensitive requests to “Kiss the Cook” printed in
a pink cursive font.
| What is a Macho Chef? |
| Visit the Macho Blog |
| "You rock!" -Julie of Maine |
| Your ad here |
| Macho Chefs use WELDER'S GLOVES because an opposable thumb just makes sense. |
 | |  | |  | |  | |  | |  |
| For the man who cooks and the women that love him |
Instead of that, a macho chef uses welder’s gloves, and invites any naysayer to kiss his ass.
With a good set of welder’s gloves, a man can reach into a hot oven, grab a heavy pot of stew with both hands and heave it
around to the counter. Because they are gloves, as opposed to mittens, he can hold all of his other tools without looking like a
flipper-handed victim of thalidomide with a fetish for cross-dressing.
Macho chefs are also careful about the technology they bring into their kitchens. A man can purchase some truly expensive pots
and pans, coated in the latest non-stick magical coating, or he could scrimp on the money and purchase some cheap aluminum
tools in which to cook the sustenance of life. But the real chef goes for the tools that are tried-and-true: cast iron.
Properly cared for, cast iron skillets, griddles, and Dutch ovens are just as effective as the latest new-fangled miracle pan made
in some country on another continent. And in most ways, cast iron is even better.
When he can, the macho chef uses fresh ingredients, because herbs and spices are best used when they are first pulled out of the
ground. But when he cannot, he does not bitch and moan about the problem, but efficiently finds ways to keep the taste and
aroma of his food at the best of his abilities.
When it comes to dishes, the macho chef doesn't quibble about matching cups, saucers, and plates. For the truth of the matter is
that the people at your table will remember the food for far longer than the fact that the coffee cup didn't match the place mat.
A macho chef avoids overly categorizing his utensils in innumerable labeled drawers. He doesn't’t have a drawer for his
spatulas, another drawer for his spoons, and even a third one for his whisk. He finds a large jar and puts all the tools he
habitually uses into the jar like an oversize coffee mug holding a dozen pencils. He puts that wide-mouthed jar near the stove,
and just reaches for the next tool, as he needs it.
The knives of a chef are the only things truly deserving a special place. The macho chef cares for his knives the way a
professional hunter cares for his weapons. He keeps them sharp, dry, and safely protected in a nearby cubbyhole.
Ultimately, the macho chef does not define himself by what he does, or what esoteric cooking knowledge he possesses, or the
wealth and variety of the junk he uses in his task. No, the macho chef maintains the belief that his food is the best that anyone
can find in the surrounding region, that he has cooked it to the best of his abilities, and that inept monkeys must have raised
anyone who doesn't like it, and that monkey’s offspring just doesn't know when he tastes something great
With a good set of welder’s gloves, a man can reach into a hot oven, grab a heavy pot of stew with both hands and heave it
around to the counter. Because they are gloves, as opposed to mittens, he can hold all of his other tools without looking like a
flipper-handed victim of thalidomide with a fetish for cross-dressing.
Macho chefs are also careful about the technology they bring into their kitchens. A man can purchase some truly expensive pots
and pans, coated in the latest non-stick magical coating, or he could scrimp on the money and purchase some cheap aluminum
tools in which to cook the sustenance of life. But the real chef goes for the tools that are tried-and-true: cast iron.
Properly cared for, cast iron skillets, griddles, and Dutch ovens are just as effective as the latest new-fangled miracle pan made
in some country on another continent. And in most ways, cast iron is even better.
When he can, the macho chef uses fresh ingredients, because herbs and spices are best used when they are first pulled out of the
ground. But when he cannot, he does not bitch and moan about the problem, but efficiently finds ways to keep the taste and
aroma of his food at the best of his abilities.
When it comes to dishes, the macho chef doesn't quibble about matching cups, saucers, and plates. For the truth of the matter is
that the people at your table will remember the food for far longer than the fact that the coffee cup didn't match the place mat.
A macho chef avoids overly categorizing his utensils in innumerable labeled drawers. He doesn't’t have a drawer for his
spatulas, another drawer for his spoons, and even a third one for his whisk. He finds a large jar and puts all the tools he
habitually uses into the jar like an oversize coffee mug holding a dozen pencils. He puts that wide-mouthed jar near the stove,
and just reaches for the next tool, as he needs it.
The knives of a chef are the only things truly deserving a special place. The macho chef cares for his knives the way a
professional hunter cares for his weapons. He keeps them sharp, dry, and safely protected in a nearby cubbyhole.
Ultimately, the macho chef does not define himself by what he does, or what esoteric cooking knowledge he possesses, or the
wealth and variety of the junk he uses in his task. No, the macho chef maintains the belief that his food is the best that anyone
can find in the surrounding region, that he has cooked it to the best of his abilities, and that inept monkeys must have raised
anyone who doesn't like it, and that monkey’s offspring just doesn't know when he tastes something great